We all have moments when we realise what it means to be in love. For me, that was a crowded library in central Delhi that did the trick.
There have been numerous such nights in the recent weeks when I have wondered what it was that made me realise that love existed, and that I had been feeling it for some time. Finally, on a rainy midnight dream sequence(yes, my dreams are sequences of weird happenings), I realised that my introduction to this emotion was made through none other than my oldest friends in the world: my books.
I believe that it was with the Princess Diaries (by Meg Cabot) that I understood what 'liking someone' meant. I found the book in the British Council Library in Central Delhi and finished it in one day. It was the perfect teenage guide to love, lust and friendships.
The protagonist, Mia, instantly grew on me. And in a short while, Mia's troubles were my troubles and Mia's crushing crush was my life's story. As Meg wrote about her clumsy, complicated, smitten heroine, I saw myself in her pages. And just like Mia, I too, always had a flair for the dramatic. Hence, the friendship was instant. Mia was so eloquent in expressing her feelings for Josh, that without realising it, I, too, was checking boxes in my head.
"Keeps staring at him wherever he is: check
Gets a funny feeling in her stomach every time he so much as looks at her: check
Wants to be noticed by him but will bury her head in the sand if he actually does notice her: check"
Mia created her own drama. So did I. And by the end of that fateful day, realised what had been an year of uneasiness and light headedness: I was in love. And it was TERRIFYING!
“Lilly says I have an overactive imagination and a pathological need to invent drama in my life.” - Mia Thermopolis, The Princess Diaries
However, the story didn't really end there. I went on to read Pride and Prejudice after about a year and a half had passed since my meeting with Mia. I hadn't expected that something would ever change how I viewed love. But Jane Austen did. I drew up comparison tables in my head, and Jane's side won, hands down. The Princess Diaries was not my bible anymore. Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy was.
Michael and Mia/Darcy and Elizabeth
Michael and Mia embodied perfectly the bittersweet rush that comes with a teenage romance. They were everything a modern relationship is like: they were confused, flawed, and adamant in their love. As Mia fumbled through her princessnhood, Michael acted like her anchor, keeping her close to reality. And thus, throughout my sweet sixteen, Mia's words were my only solace, and remained my only consolation that love shall find its way to me. Enter seventeen, and I stumbled upon the ageless classic: Pride and Prejudice.
Jane Austen wove a world that was witty, snobbish, superficial and deep at the same time. And in this world, she created Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy and Ms. Elizabeth Bennet, two ordinary people who go on to become extraordinary to me (and everyone else who reads their story). They incited passions and evoked the power of the English language even when they were insulting each other. They were mature, yet childish; obstinate, yet melting, inch by inch, in each other's love. Jane Austen thus became the second author who made me understand that while Michael and Mia were my ideal couple, it was a classical romance like Darcy and Elizabeth's that I was more suited to. Drama prevailed, yet again, over sensible modern-day relationships and The Princess Diaries was not enough to capture all the things love had become to me. I wanted something beautiful and vintage, and even today, I keep imagining a world where someone says Darcy-like things to me on a rainy afternoon in a Victorian house.
“You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”- Darcy, Pride and Prejudice
Love is a funny thing. It's usually too easy for us humans, and thus we complicate it unnecessarily. Thankfully, literature is filled with some great writing about the matters of the heart, and all of it just says one thing: love is a pain, but it is an essential pain. And having a guide really helps navigate it's choppy waves.
Do you remember what made you understand what love is? Think of it as you go on with your day, and maybe smile a bit for its a wonderful feeling to have.
Picture courtesy: Pinterest
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